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[04 May 2008|02:26pm]
Buy Handmade
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[03 May 2008|07:41pm]
<table align="center"> Beards for Breakfast Victorian Engraving Necklace
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new house. [15 May 2007|10:26pm]
so i'm updating from my new location, which isnt far from the one i used to live at.

i am currently living on Walnut St in montclair with Dana.

So far things have been going gravy. I don't even mind sharing the minimal space. It is such a releif to be out of my house.

I'll update more soon.

Tommorrow is Daniel Johnston with the Dustin :D
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uggg. mother's day. [13 May 2007|06:22pm]
you know i think it's safe to say I am a huge advocate of holiday's that are absolutely uneccessary, but I can't fucking stand mother's day. Maybe that sounds selfish of me, but nothing makes me feel more awkward than giving something to parent A for the sake of satisfying hallmark and pinpointing every flaw that I have.

I really don't know how to communicate with my mom anymore. Infact it seems more and more that I feel like a stranger to her than a daughter or family member or who the fuck knows?

Is it really wrong for me to say that last night I came to the conclusion I am almost positive I don't love her as much as I did when I was a little kid?

Since that whole melt down at easter things(at least from my perspective) have felt significantly warped between us, and just leaves me shaking my head and clawing my face like i have the worst case of egzema known to man.

It sucks, but the worst part is none of this has even occurred to her, and well if any of it has I am completely unaware.

I've been home (at my real life house) for two days now, and I feel like my whole sense of balance has been thrown off.
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summer heat summer beat! [11 May 2007|12:29pm]

so after a very very extensive live journal vacation. I am back. For good. I promise this time.

Here is what has been going on lately....

As of two days ago I have finished my first semeser at MSU. Transfering out of willy P was definately the best decision I have ever made. I am so much happier the classes where really great, and it was such a good positive enviornment for me to be in, and I really really needed. Yester was move out day from my apartment :( (this was a total bummer because moving all that shit around sucks and not to mention the relationship that I have had with my parents lately has dwindled down to something really awkward. So, instead of spending the summer at my house, Dana said she would let me live with her for the summer for 100$ a month for rent (cause her rent was raised). Although that really does sound like a steal, but my space that I have at the apartment is very limitd, so limited in fact that I will be sleeping in her bed the whole summer, with my suitcase full of clothes in the living room. But whatever I can't complain. I am really excited, and infact I am looking forward to all of it very much. This will be the first summer that I will not have to adhear to dumb ass cerfew's and yelling bullshit from my mom (and that really is the shit that put's me over the edge, not so much my dad) Unfortunately though I will be located at my normal house for the next few days, due to Dana's graduation, but than the moving is going to get good.

I also recently have attained a great job at this little coffee shop in Little Falls, I no longer work at delia*s, thank god. The world seems to be a much brighter, more caffinated place now. The regulars are pure gems and the not so regulars are nice too. I like that it's not corporate, and I made much more money, and have become way more financially capable to support myself.

This semester has really opened a lot of options for me, especially in terms of what I really think I want to do with myself. It's nice to finally find some sort of sollice in something. One of the things that I definately enjoyed the most about it (regardless of all the wrok) was my print making class. My professor was so helpful and realy nice, she really helped me to get my right foot on the ground and encourage me to follow through on my ideas. I will definately be taking a silk screen cours (if i can even get the class now) for the fall.

As far as the world of romance goes, things have been pretty good. Dustin and I are still going out, and are looking forward very much to many fun adventures for the summer, one of them including going to see Daniel Johnston next week in Brooklyn, as well several Morrissey concerts that his friend gave him tickets for. On top of those few fantabulous events there is bound to be many many adventures to the beach and the Bulgarian Bar with Jess, Rob, Dana and a few very special others.

On a more important note, my birthday is in less than a month. I will be the very big very spectacular TWO- ONE. Myself and a couple of sources have been working on throwing a killer bash, so stay tuned...

I am so looking forward to seeing Jess and Rob again, as well as picking things back up with Cara and seeing them regularly. I've really missed them so much this semester, because I really realized how much we have just gotten so distant, and it really makes me think back to older more nieve times.

Musically I have been doing much work, and not talking from my ass either. Infact I have about a good 7 or 8 songs and I am in the proccess of mastering them, and I am probably going to burn a some cd's and get some things set up. Right now my biggest problem is still finding peopple to play wtih. I have just come to the conclusion that I need to work with what I have available to me, even though that really sucks. I've been doing a lot of work with sampling and layering different sounds, and the results have been very interesting, not to mention that my guitar skills have improved very much and I am looking forward to working on them more this summer. Even though I have been playing music with Dustin, he has his own seperate projects that he is working on. I find that his mellowness and his ability to be so sentimental has really caused me to dull my "edge" down so I've decided that working more by myself is more conventional, and as far as I can recall the results have been pleasing.

I will update more once I have finished some of the tasks I told myself I was going to get done today, I can't even get to the left side of my room that's how much crap there is from moving.

Until then, enjoy the picture show.

myself (kevin bacon) & Dana (the gay cowboy) on halloween of this year

extracaricular activities following Dustin's performance at the weirdest fucking church show I have ever been to.

some time last week in the good ol' college apartment with over very illegal cat (who was a total jer)

last night at school. My roomate and I endulged on elevator snacks in the fancy shmancy apartments.

late night butts

eat shit Jane Fonda

thats alllllll till laterrrr

also buy me this

the end <3
punk siiiiiimmmmmeeeeeee alll of the timmmmmmeeeeeeeCollapse )
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YAY GOOD NEWSSSSS. [04 Jan 2007|04:06pm]

2007 Has been absolutely incredable thus far. Yesterday I was informed that I have been accepted into Montclair State University, things truly look like they are moving up.

Along with such joyous news I had taken the treck to Palisades mall with one of my co workers to assist in the new floorset at the Delia*s store that had just opened. The spring ling is so incredable adorable, I am definately going to buy a couple peices, especially these extremeley adorable sailor pants.

On top of that my hours are going to be fat this week because of working at Palisades for those 2 days. I also had the pleasure of undressing all the mannquins to, feeling like a total perve was something I was feeling a lot that day, not to mention I got 2 pairs of pants off of them that ended up on sale. The biggest surprise was is that I fit into the pants on the mannequins perfectly. I am so excited, I can't wait to get this fat ass off me.

For Christmas I got a new digital camera and it is absolutely insane, I still have yet to figure out a couple things on it, but I will have lots of pictures posted soon.


Also some super spam thing has hacked into my myspace and is making ridiculous/disgusting bulletins so if you happen to read that crap its totally not me. And I should be getting it fixed soon. It;s going to be a total hastle just because hte email address that the account is under is no longre existant. But anyhow atleast I was told I can get it fixed.

Hope everyone is having a positive New Year.... :D
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HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRR!!!!!! [01 Jan 2007|06:47pm]
[ mood | awake ]



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yeah updating, hasn't been happening a lot lately. [06 Nov 2006|08:18pm]
So apparently I am playing a show at 169 Bar on november 11th, with this kid Joel I've been doing some music things with. the show is gonna be late, I think we are going on at like 10 or something.

should be interesting.

lost my lipring at work 2 days ago and i am totally pissed cause i cant find my replacement ring and ugh, if i dont find osmething soon its going to close up.

It's been to cold for my liking, but luckily i have been having lots fo adventures with dustin and dana to keep me from being bored.

i need a new digital camera asap. if anyone wants to help me out with that, that would be sweeeeeet.
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theres a heart that you made, i won't rest unti, i break it [13 Oct 2006|02:28pm]
tonight is...



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Calvin Johnson is the only Johnson!!! [12 Oct 2006|01:53pm]


thanks Dustin what an amazing night that was!
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Re-occuring dreams. [10 Oct 2006|02:01pm]
So lately I've been having this really bad reoccuring dream of Curtis and I. We are located in what seems to be some type of school or something, and I am hurt/bleeding for some unknown reason. There is blood pouring everywhere, and I can't stop it. Curtis doesn't recognize that I am really hurt and need attention, because he is distracted by another girl, who is about 16/17 years of age, and is dressed in mall punk attire. She is sitting at a table/desk of some sort tearing out the pages of my books. I go to stop her and the whole room freezes into a freez frame, except for Curtis and I. He's wearing my green hoodie that got when I was with Dana about a momth previous. I am crying and screaming in pain and bleeding and he doesn't care.

I have had this dream about four times in a row over the past 2 weeks. Each time, being more graphic and detailed than the last. This morning I woke up in a cold sweat, feeling like I was going to hurl.

I wish I knew of a way to prevent this from happening again, because it's really tearing me apart. I can't bare to have this dream again. Since I know for the most part it is very true. Which makes me feel even worse.

On a more positive note I guess, I have four consecutive days off in a row. Wednesday night I am going to go see Calvin Johnson, The Microphones, Mt Eerie, D+ and Karl Blau, Which I am so excited for. Than on Friday I am going to go see Xiu Xiu at the Bowery Ballroom, which again i s absolutely spine tingling.

Last night I gave Dana a burned cd of my songs and she really liked them. I have been pushing out more than a few musical ditties lately. Hopefully sometime soon I will have some shows going on.

i'm probably on the phone with dana in this one.
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one friday night.... [08 Oct 2006|04:41am]
Friday night was the bees knees.

thai food and science of sleep with a new friend. Totally aces.
However it absolutely sucked to be thinking about curtis have the time.

I am pretty sure I am going to quit my job soon for real this time. I'm just generally done with how I am treated there.

I can't wait until halloween when I get to where my super awesome bacon costume.
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ladies and gentleman.... [06 Oct 2006|12:37am]
*drum roll*

meet the newest addition to my wardrobe....

yes. this sweater and i was a match made in heaven.
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woooooo. [05 Oct 2006|04:34pm]
looking like a big gay aids fag, is righteous. Also I made 11$ today selling books back to the used book store. So pumped. And tommorrow will be even better yessssssss.

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i wonder. [05 Oct 2006|12:09am]
[ mood | awake ]

also the ugliest face i can make.

re did the red today. good good.

hot date on friday. for once in a really long time i am feel some what happy.

I love 100$ worth of free books/ indie comics.

Also in love with the grandma scarf i got for 6 bux.

I'm so into brown right now. I probably look like a giant turd.

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oh man wonderful!!! [29 Sep 2006|12:54am]

fuck i love dinosaur jr
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fuck. [27 Sep 2006|06:22pm]
i really wish i could kiss him right now.

thats all i want to do.

every time i think about how i will never see him again my heart just cringes.

i really can't help but loath how i look as of late. more than ever.
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free things. [27 Sep 2006|11:18am]
Oh lord. You know things lately have been awful, but last night reassured me that hopefully all of this awfulness is going to come to an end real soon.

I am so happy that Dana considers me her best friend and that we can share mass amounts of free shit together and go jogging and drink tea and do nothing.

This makes me so happy and very excited to have her around, cause there is nothing like bonding over nothing car rides and pants that look great on you.

The cleaning ladies in my house are driving me insane. I can't wait for them to leave so I can take a shower.

I really don't mind having the 2 days off because it's not like im spending cash anyways.

Curtis and I are completely done. I havnt talked to him in about two weeks. Like at all. Maybe he is over me, but all I have to say is my toe nails are still red from that time that he painted them. And they will probably be like that for a really really long time.

Just because I don't want to leave this journal on a sad note my hair is getting really long, and this is really exciting.

Today I will be around cleaning my room/finishing up my MSU transfer app and dancing by myself. Feel free to contact me, especially if you are going to salvation army.
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end on end [20 Sep 2006|06:45pm]

look at this fucking lie right here.

i bought a child's california raisin costume for 2$ today. It doesnt even bother me that it doesnt fit. I'll probably just hang it up on my wall

watching 35-50 year olds speed dating is hilarious. Especially when it is occampanied by free coffee and free yummies.

i have hermit crabs now. Their names are Merle and Brawny (as in the paper towels)

i still pretty much hate everything. except now I look like a raisin and have crabs. sort of.

I fucking hate California.
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4 turned into nothing. [13 Sep 2006|11:53pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

It could have been 4 months. It could have turned into years.

I could have shared fall with you.

And and winter

And spring

And all in between

And we could have grown old.

Or not.

Or just sleep.

Maybe even coffee


lots of coffee

But instead.

I have all these lemons.

All by myself.

And not nearly enough tea.

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